From Isabel to Domingos

It took 3 weeks for us to set a proper date and carry out with the meeting. I realized that if you consider doing something and as time goes by you don’t do it, it turns out to bother a lot! Even into make a pleasure meeting becoming an annoying obligation. I began to get not interested about him, thought about simply delivering the gift to his house or work and give some excuse why I hadn’t written about it.

We met at the tube station near to my adorable English everyday school, at Holborn. It’s a very common thing in London to meet people at some tube station, even not using it frequently… It was the third time I met someone to give a gift and all of them occurred in some underground station. Maybe if we instantly hated each other we could dash to the stairs and go somewhere else that is not where we were.

We went to this cafe in a charm street nearby, as I get addicted to coffee, I had my first cup, with milk always, at that time. Everyday I wait to drink coffee somewhere with someone. It´s now a ritual for me to invite someone to have a coffee, it’s a really neutral way of meeting people, can be anyone with any implication and the fact that you ask them to have a coffee with. really do not undertake you in any way.

As both Brazilians – funnily we were served by a Brazilian waitress – , we couldn’t avoid speaking about the experience of being a foreigner. I lived in three different cities in Brazil for at least 9 years in each, so for me, was common not to feel completely belonging to where I was living at each moment – like I feel here now. There is always some doubt about being somewhere or choosing where to live, specially if you think about it as a choice for the future, or for settling you down.

To Domingos was a different issue. After living in a couple of continents and having married a North-American girl, they decided to live in a city that did not belong to any of them, neither Brazil nor USA, so they came to England. I’ve always thought about moving with a lover. Perhaps to make all the new things instantly and invariably connected to ourselves, as the average everyday life kills the passion much faster. And it’s also very useful for the future as you will have even more special memories about that person than if you had lived always in the same place in the same way.

I discovered something amazing about his living here, he has this special visa that is not about being an European citizen, marrying someone here, studying or be employed, is a visa given to people with extraordinary work or skills that want to develop their research or their work, fantastic!

As a gentlemen, he offered to pay the coffee and let me speak eloquently about my current impressions on life, big cities, people, money, fashion, freedom. At some moment, I gave the book that his mother had sent to him. About architecture, his most moving subject in life. A book about Brazilians’ houses. He said that his mother is always sending books – there’s nothing more personal and more difficult to get rid off when moving than books. It suddenly occurred to me that parents can be similar to books as we don’t choose them, they definitely build our truths and we can’t deny their importance, even if we just let them standing in some shelf… This one was to help he remember where he came from, where his roots are and who still, stand, missing him.

From Marcita to Myself

CORAGEM E AMOR VERDADEIRO
Era mais um daqueles dias normais em que se fica no trabalho checando as mensagens do celular, esperando uma ligação ou lendo os posts no facebook, como se esse algo que esperamos pudesse ter o efeito do inesperado. Foi em meio a uma dessas intenções que surpresamente recebi um e-mail inusitado.

Vale você entregar um presente pra você? É que existem coisas que não tem preço… Como retribuir uma recordação que nos contemplou com uma reportagem super carinhosa… E aquele body está lá guardado há tempos para você… Aí fica a seu critério… Se achar que não vale entregar seu próprio presente ele mesmo assim é seu de coração!!

Meu dia clareou. Fiquei intrigada o resto das horas. Nos dias subseqüentes enveredei a pensar em como fazer aquilo. EU precisava entregar um presente para MIM mesma! E descrever isso… Onde eu entrava e a que horas sairia? Ou eu realmente entraria? Foi a partir desse embate que comecei a me dividir, a tentar ao menos me ausentar por frações de tempos e sentimentos, que fosse, da idéia que tenho de mim mesma. Não conseguia me despovoar do fato de que receber um presente de alguém quase desconhecido poderia irradiar calor pelo meu corpo e acalentar minha alma. Misturam-se as almas nas coisas; misturam-se as coisas nas almas. Misturam-se as vidas, e é assim que as pessoas e as coisas misturadas saem cada qual de sua esfera e se misturam.

Delineei um trajeto que me faria caminhar como num círculo e no caminho, coletar a entrega. Saí da Augusta rumo à avenida Higienópolis, voltei pelo Santa Cecília, atravessei a Consolação, passei pela Augusta: o presente não estava no local. Voltei ao Pacaembu e retornei para casa. Ouvindo música, tirando fotos, comprando frutas, comendo frutas, recolhendo o presente e ainda fazendo a partilha de restos de um antigo relacionamento. Eu havia romanceado o encontro com o objeto, fiz fotos da loja, respirei fundo antes de entrar, pretendi não ser eu mesma, tive que voltar no outro dia – já sem tanto romantismo…

Por alguns dias, não abri o pacote. Imaginei mil formas de me entregar, onde eu me encontraria, como eu marcaria comigo mesma, o que falaria. Até que me dei conta de que não havia lugar atualmente que reunisse mais características de mim mesma, que eu me sentisse mais confortável, e provavelmente que eu receberia alguém como eu mesma, que a minha então, casa. Ela reunia os amigos-vizinhos, o vizinho-acampado, o gato-menino, a amiga-irmã-distante, os amantes-passageiros, a esquina com a Augusta, os gritos na janela, a vida simples, a cama-gigante, a música incessante, a cozinha que cheira a café, o entra e sai de uma casa sem paredes. E foi lá que eu entreguei-recebi-usei o presente. Era um body com rendas em vermelho e preto, de uma loja de produtos erótic-romântic-sexy, com uma sensualidade latina, volumosa e recatada que muito me interessaram quase 6 meses antes, quando a Patrícia me disse que havia um body na vitrine da loja que era perfeito pra mim e que depois o levei para uma histórica seção de fotos com a atriz Claudia Ohana para a Playboy, para finalmente ganhar vida ao ser beijado por um skatista que passava pela fatídica casa…

From Jakub to Felipe

This post opens my aim to give others people´s gifts. As the ones you see down there are gifts that i gave to some people. Here is the beginnig of a path i wanna follow, and maybe not yet exactly how i wanna follow…

I met Jakub, better saying, Kuba, here in São Paulo. He was spending his vacations in South America, i have a common friend with him, two actually, that introduced us through e-mail. Kuba is Polish and lives in London.

Some weeks later, it was me who looked for Kuba – i was in London. We did some-thing similar: went out for a drink with some friends. But some weeks later, after i had gone to Paris and then to Amsterdam, i needed to ask him a favour. I called him ´cause i had just figured out i had nowhere else to stay in London… So, as we had some nice time together and he always offered-his-house or some help-if-i-needed, i sent him a message – as i didn´t have phone credits at that time… I slept in the same bed as him. I pretended that i did not understand when he said that. I just put my clothes on – as that was not the case of taking them out – and he came to bed. We talking at night, with the lights off and both laying at bed, no romance, no intimacy, but even though, sharing this very peculiar place, a marriage bed…

Well, let´s talk about gifts. Kuba stayed at this house in São Paulo, Felipe´s, but maybe i ought to describe it, as you will not just only understand better but because i went there to give-the-gift-Kuba-wanted-me-to-give.to Felipe. I know him from a long time but it has never been enough.

To get to the present Kuba wanted to give Felipe, he had to go through quite a path. Like meeting some ex-boyfriend-he-had-not-seen-for-some-couple-of-years. We went to this amazing tiny bookstore that is now tagged. After buying he said he would give me the book later, cause he wanted to pack-write-think-see-read-do-not-know-what-else. In my last day, actually in my last minutes, we met. At Heathrow. He kindly-gently offered me some glass of wine. Amazing to have someone to make me feel more comfortable, less confident and happier.

I got to Felipe´s apartment and began to take pictures convulsevely as if he couldn´t discover me – i don´t know why. Without even look properly at the gift he got, he began to tell me about how he get to Kuba. And how they connect in such a way that he dismissed him crying… Felipe opened the book and found some cards. It was prince William and Harry postcard. I had even told Kuba at the airport that i would rather preffer William than Harry, i changed my mind right at the airplane and i discovered, now with Felipe, that prince William time has passed and that prince Harry is the hot-royalty guy. I need to say that to Miranda July, as she wrote in her book about her frustrated attempts to meet William…

To Vitor

We were coming back home at about 6 in the morning, me and Vitor, drunk, giggling and remembering all the funny things that happened during our night. I don´t remember of having giving him anything. You know, we are really close friends, from not longer, but in a special way. And i´m not the kind of delicate girl, sometimes my friends need to have extra patience for my direct way of being.

One of ours friends have given him a bycicle, some months ago. And he rapidly addopted this bike as his way of moving through the city. One night he left it at my house and in the other day, as i was going to the pool, i decided to leave it in his house, so he could wake up and go out with this his new friend. But Jesus, there were some strange metal pin that really hurt me. I could see that the bike needed some repairs…

I had almost forgotten! I gave him some kitchen clothes two weeks before my vacations – he´s a chef!

Well, until that moment i was supposing that Vitor, as a good friend, had to accept the fact that he was not receiving anything from my way back to Brasil – except myself. But it was when some friend that is living in London told me about this small kit, a bag that you can attach to a belt with bycicle tools.

So, back to the beggining, he started to tell me some histories about the fact that he pretends to lock his bycicle to the tress or poles, but he lost the padlock, so he just wrap the bike with the grip and, pray to god to find it when he comes back. Ok, that was my cue. As we got to my street, i asked him to enter and gave him the pack. It was funny because he didn´t recognize what were the objects for – neither did i – maybe because we had spent something like R$ 150 drinking… He laughed a lot and went home. On the next day, he came to my house for some english breakfast i did and explained me everything he found out about the tools. It´s very like him, in one moment he seems to not know things or to do it wrong, but at the end, he always surprises us.

To Guta

Guta has some very interesting things that i never found in anyone else. She has some passion about details, some love for the little things, for subtleness. She was the first person to give me these small-little-tiny gifts, as if she has been looking through the keyholes of my house and found something nicer to put somewhere, from my kitchen to my bathroom. Sometimes she comes with a botton, or a napkin, or lightboxes, all very fancy.

It wasn´t different today. We met, after some maybe six months without seen each other, and she came to my house with a gift. It was a porcelain apple, half bigger than a cherry, made to put some spices inside, with an even smaller spoon (oh Jesus, cute!). So delicate, so gorgeous!

So i gave her my version of the kind of gift she likes to give. I told her it was some stationery stuff. She told me she loves these things. It was that big-muji-ball made of bands – she told me she had made one for the movie she worked as an art director. I thought this ball would feet nice in her big office-television table. Some bird-coloured bands and some clips, also with a bird shape. Something just to make our everyday life more funny, and beautiful.

And i almost forgot, she gave me the best gift ever: some incredible dulce de leche from Argentina. Nice…………….

To LB

I decided to hide the name of the girl i´m in the way of speaking about. You see, i don´t know if it could be a problem, so, as i consider a gift something special, i decided to avoid any bad impression or post effect. Well, i met this girl in London, someone special, with some curiosities, smart, with some very good looking friends, but also jealous, he, he, he.

We smoked some weed at her house while i still didn´t have any. Later, i asked one friend to get some weed for me. But we could not meet before i left to Paris, and then to Amsterdan so, i could only pick up this little bag in the very ending of my trip. At this time i was sleeping at this new friend´s room. A nice one. I was also colaborating in some research she was doing.

Well, the day of my flight came and i had to leave. I cleaned up her room and was funny because i found some of her clothes like, just one sock, a tight and i decided to make a puppet with those things and a blanket, a cigarette and a mouth i drew.  I thought it was sweet of me doing that, to show that i in some way, took care of her room.

Before finishing to pack i thought that it would be some like stupid of me going to Brazil with that weed – it´s so easy to find there and it would be one thing not to be concerning about… and i told another friend to gave her this small pack as a gift, when she arrives at home. Well, i just received some messages of her in msn, she said that she loved the “installation” and that the weed would just fit great with her tutti-frutti paper.  And that she will save some other flavours of this paper to the time i would be back in London. Doesn´t it sounds great?

To Mari Brows

Well, like i said before, some gifts reaches us…

I was at Mari´s house during the time i spent in London. I gave her some little gifts when i got there, another two days before i came back, and in the day i was leaving, i found this record. I was looking at the records in a really naif way and i found this one. Well, Led Zeppelin, from one moment in my life, became connected to Mariana. She was a great fan of them – she tatooed in her back Zoso, name of their fourth album. That i remember, Jimmy Page was her most loved, but i thought Robert Plant could do the job… And also Jimmy played in one of the songs in the album… And, its undeniable funny the title “Now and Zen” and the new age mood, remarkable the clothes and the symbols, the bright colours.

Mariana had started a dashboard in her room´s wall some days before, and i thought she could put this record there, to be a decorative stuff other than be played… It was funny because she said, oh god, how young he is, and continued saying this, as if she couldn´t believe… I laughed! I could see that she has followed them. Then she said, oh, i really want to hear this record! Thanks Naná – that´s a nickname that only she calls me so…

To Carla

Some days before i come back i decided to go to a store in Carnaby´s St that have lots of small-charmy-smarty-gifts to buy to the people i had not found anything ´till that day. Carla was one of these people. We´ve been working together for 2 years and talking to each other everyday and working, travelling, discussing, arguing, giggling, bittering and, whatever…

So I faced these two-little-portable-cardboard-speakers that i thought she would love. First, because Carla really loves music, in a deep way. Second because you need to set it up before using, and Carla has something playful that always resemble childhood. So, i was really happy with this present and really forgot about her – in a way of buying things.

Well, on my last day in London, i was looking at some vynils and i found this one, this gipsy about music. Almost an year before Carla has introduced me to a documentary movie about the Gipsyes history, it´s Latcho Drom, by Tony Gatlif. I can tell you it was one of the most beautiful movies i have ever seen. The journey of the Romany people told through musicians and dancers of India, Egypt, Turkey, Romania, Hungary, Slovakia, France, and Spain. And this movie stayed with us until some months ago – we used it as a reference for a fashion collection, and i have even seen some of its images at Madonna´s tour Sticky & Sweet…

So, i bought this record immediately. And, together with the speakers, the present really looks amazing. To my surprise, when i met Carla, she also had a gift to me! She rapped it with a wonderful handkerchief – i loved it -, it was an Ozu movie – Banshun – and a leaflet of  “Os Gêmeos” exhibition in Rio. Wow, three things that i really appreciate. Then, i gave her my gifts. She first looked at the record and said, great, a record! Oh, great, from the gypsies, and it has some musics from romenia and also from Hungaria… Oh Thais, thank you – and she gave me a hug. Then, she grabbed the other gift and said, nice, some speakers, massa! She started to set up the pieces and see how it goes. And hugged me again…

To Frank

I always find it difficult to buy someone a present. It´s not just because i can´t be creative at that moment – although this is a right proposition – but because i don´t believe that i would find something really fresh and immaginative that have my approach in a store, made by others. Ok, i can find something made by others that are really like me. But i don´t think that in the case of presents it´s me that find it. I truly believe that the presents find me and chose their final destination.

I was in my last day at London. After 34 days. I´ve been to Amsterdan and Paris. I have been hanging around for all those days. But in these last hours i entered in a second hand shop, it was not the common second hand shop, it was a shop that sells donations -  even cheaper and not a fancy one. I get to know this store the day before – i was coming home at night – my friends home – and i saw at the windows some advise to people not leave donations on the streets – as they usually did, there were some photos showing some mess in fronT of the store. So, i thought about going there the next day. When i turned to right, i saw some of the donations hanging on the floor – so, it was really common there. I started to look at the things and i found a handkerchief that immediately came to be a lace in my bag.

The next day i get to the store at about 2 o´clock. After buying some things i discovered another second-hand-donation store near, and was there that i found these boots. They got me immediately. There were no way i could scape. I tried then but… too big for me. Of course, they were not mine, they were Frank´s. So, i bought it and suffered a little to put then on my bags – they were full, but i left some other stuff i wouldn´t use anyway…

Two days after my arrival Frank came to my house to have a breakfast with me. The boots were near the entrance, into a plastic bag. He didn´t take a time, he went directly to the bag and said, what a nice boots!!!!!! I couldn´t deny they were made for each other. I was right. It was love at first sight. I told him, they are yours, its a gift. He couldn´t believe. They fitted him perfectly. He looked at the mirror, looked at the boots, he said that Flavinha was going to freak out when she sees those boots. We began to eat – he was still wearing the boots – we talked, and eated, and talked and then, he left. He was wearing the boots. Thanking me and saying he was going to wear the boots in a photoshooting he was going to make. He took his havaianas in his hands.